Sickness is not fun for anybody. But especially childhood cancer children. Once we get to a certain age where we understand that we have cancer and that we are going to have a whole bunch of side effects, we then know to worry. For everything.
But especially sickness. We have already had the worst of the worst when it comes to sickness. And life. But especially sickness. Hence, we tend to think the worst.
I spent this past weekend sick. 20% of my thoughts were, “what should I binge watch next?”. The other 80% was, “is the cancer back? Do I have a new disease? Will I have even more side effects?”
I know that these thoughts won’t happen, but I still just think. Could that happen?
These take over most of my mind in normal life. Cancer was scary, but so is my cancer future?
But when it comes to sickness, my entire mind is compromised by these thoughts of fear.
It has taken me much time to figure out that these thoughts are normal. After connecting with other warriors.
Although I know this feeling is normal, it still isn’t fun. This feeling of fear, and even guilt.
But I need to tell myself that I will get through this. If I had cancer, I can’t let common sickness get me. There will be fear, and guilt involved, but I can’t let that stop me. There is still work to be done, and goals that I want to accomplish while I have my time.
Take the initiative. Make an impact. WITH Grace.